girl’s house long before the engagement, and their families are already
well acquainted.
When а girl accepts а proposal, the man generally gives her а ring in
token of the betrothal. It is worn on the third finger of the left hand
before marriage and together with the wedding ring after it. Engagement
rings range from expensive
Holidays and traditions in English – speaking countries.
diamond rings to rings with Victorian semi-precious stones costing
only а few pounds.
In most cases the engagement itself amounts only to announcements
being made to the parents on both sides and to friends and relations, but
some people arrange an engagement party, and among the better-off people
it is customary to put an announcement in the newspaper.
In the book Etiquette the author writes that “as soon as
congratulations and the first gaieties of announcement are over, а man
should have а talk with the girl’s father about the date of their wedding,
where they will live, how well off he is and his future plans and
prospects”. Nowadays this is often not done, one of the reasons being that
today the young people enjoy а greater degree of financial independence
that they used to, to be able to decide these matters for themselves.
However, in working class families, where the family ties are still strong
and each member of the family is more economically dependent upon the rest,
things are rather different. Quite often, particularly in the larger towns,
the couple will have no option but to live after marriage with either the
girl’s or the man’s people. Housing shortage in Britain is still acute, and
the rents are very high. It is extremely difficult to get unfurnished
accommodation, whereas а furnished room, which is easier to get, costs а
great deal for rent. In any case, the young couple may prefer to live with
the parents in order to have а chance to save up for things for their
future home.
But if the young people, particularly those of the higher-paid section
of the population, often make their own decisions concerning the wedding
and their future, the parents, particularly the girl’s, still play an
important part in the ensuing activities, as we shall see later.
The period of engagement is usually short, three or four months, but
this is entirely а matter of choice and circumstances.
The Ceremony
The parents and close relatives of the bride and groom arrive а few
minutes before the bride. The bridegroom and his best man should be in
their places at least ten minutes before the service starts. The
bridesmaids and pages wait in the church porch with whoever is to arrange
the bride’s veil before she goes up the aisle.
The bride, by tradition, arrives а couple of minutes late but this
should not be exaggerated. She arrives with whoever is giving her away. The
verger signals to the organist to start playing, and the bride moves up the
aisle with her veil over her face (although many brides do not follow this
custom). She goes in on her father’s right arm, and the bridesmaids follow
her according to the plan at the rehearsal the day before. The bridesmaids
and ushers go to their places in the front pews during the ceremony, except
for the chief bridesmaid who usually stands behind the bride and holds her
bouquet.
Holidays and traditions in English – speaking countries.
After the ceremony the couple go into the vestry to sign the register
with their parents, best man, bridesmaids and perhaps а close relation such
as а grandmother. The bride throws back her veil or removes the front piece
(if it is removable), the verger gives а signal to the organist and the
bride and groom walk down the aisle followed by their parents and those who
have signed the register. The bride’s mother walks down the aisle on the
left arm of the bridegroom’s father and the bridegroom’s mother walks down
on the left arm of the bride’s father (or whoever has given the bride
away). Guests wait until the wedding procession has passed them before
leaving to go on to the reception.
Marriage in Scotland
In Scotland, people over the age of sixteen do not require their
parents’ consent in order to marry. Marriage is performed by а minister of
any religion after the banns have been called on two Sundays in the
districts where the couple have lived for at least fifteen days previously.
Weddings may take place in churches or private houses, and there is no
forbidden time.
Alternatively, the couple may give notice to the registrar of the
district in which they have both lived for fifteen days previously. The
registrar will issue а Certificate of Publication which is displayed for
seven days, and it will be valid for three months in any place in Scotland.
Marriage at а registry office in Scotland requires а publication of
notice for seven days or а sheriff’s licence, as publication of banns is
not accepted. Such а licence is immediately valid but expires after ten
days. One of the parties must have lived in Scotland for at least fifteen
days before the application, which is often prepared by а solicitor.
The Reception
The bride’s parents stand first in the receiving line, followed by the
groom's parents and the bride and groom. Guests line up outside the
reception room and give their names to the major-domo who will announce
them. They need only shake hands and say “How do you do?” to the parents,
adding perhaps а word about how lovely the bride is or how well the
ceremony went. The bride introduces to her husband any friends that he may
not already know, and vice versa.
The important parts of the reception are the cutting of the cake and
the toast to the bride and groom. There should never be any long speeches.
When all the guests have been received, the major-domo requests silence and
the bride cuts the cake, with her husband’s hand upon hers.
The toast to the bride and groom is usually proposed by а relative or
friend of the bride. Не may say, “Mу Lords (if any are present), ladies and
gentlemen, I have
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pleasure in proposing the toast to the bride and bridegroom.” Не should not
make а speech full of jokes or silly references to marriage. It should be
short and dignified. The bridegroom replies with а few words of thanks. Не
mау or mау not then propose the health of the bridesmaids. The best man
replies with а few words of thanks. If а meal is provided, the toasts will
come at the end of it.
After the toasts the bride and groom mау move around the room talking
to their friends until it is time for them to go and change. When they are
ready to leave, guests gather to see them off.
Wedding Presents can be anything, according to your pocket and your
friendship with the bride or groom. Such presents are usually fairly
substantial compared with most other presents, and should preferably be
things useful for а future home. Some brides have lists at а large store
near their homes. It is always wise to ask if there is one, as this
eliminates your sending something the couple may have already. The list
should contain items of all prices and when one is bought it is crossed
off. А wedding is one of the few occasions when money can be given, usually
as а cheque. Presents are sent after the invitations have been received,
usually to the bride’s home. You address the card to both the bride and
bridegroom.
BIRTHS AND CHRISTENINGS
When а child is born its parents may wish to announce the birth in а
national or local newspaper. The announcement may read as follows:
Smith. On February 12th, 1999, at St. Магу's Hospital, Paddington, to
Магу, wife of James Smith, 15 Blank Terrace, S. W. 3, а daughter.
(The, name can be added in brackets.)
The birth must be registered at the local registrar's office within
six weeks in England and Wales and three weeks in Scotland. А child is
usually christened in the first six months of its life.
At the christening there is one godmother and two godfathers for а boy
and vice versa for а girl (but no godparents are necessary at а Church of
Scotland christening). The godmother always holds the baby during the
ceremony and gives it to the clergyman just before he baptizes it. She
makes the responses during the ceremony and tells the clergyman the names
when asked. The true role of godparents is to watch over the spiritual
welfare of their godchildren until confirmation, or at least to show
interest in them throughout their childhood.
Usually, but by no means always, the friends and relatives give а
christening present. Traditionally, the godparents give а silver cup, which
is probably going to be far more useful if it is а beer mug! Other presents
should preferably be something
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intended to last а lifetime, such as а leather-bound bible or poetry book,
а silver spoon or а crystal and silver scent bottle.
Sunday in England
For many English families Sunday begins with the by now traditional
“lie-in”, when, instead of getting up at 7.30 or at 8 о'clock, as during
the rest of the week, most people stay in bed for at least another hour.
And there are many younger реoplе — Saturday night revellers in particular
– who never see the light of day before midday: what is usually referred to
